Transcript
WEBVTT
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It's been a while since I could hold my head up high, and it's been a while Since I first saw you, and it's been a while Since I can stand.
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On my own two feet again.
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And it's been a while Since I could call you, and everything I can remember has fucked up.
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As it always seems, what we do in life echoes in eternity.
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What we do in life echoes in eternity.
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Let's go, brandon.
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I forgot to get that one.
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Oh really, yeah, yeah, we'll get there.
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Let's go, Brandon, t-t-t-t.
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I forgot to get that one.
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Oh really, yeah, yeah, it'll get there.
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It's been a while.
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It's a process, man.
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It's like 24 hours with new stuff, you know.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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I just took a gulp of that Break down my gullet.
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You needed it.
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Nothing wrong with that.
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Patrick, you needed it.
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Buddy.
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Yeah, I took a gulp.
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It's been a hell of a half hour.
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Not the first gulp, patrick.
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I just had a heavy flow of 30 minutes.
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I don't know if you guys just saw that, anybody else?
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Jesus Christ, I took a deep gulp.
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I'm so happy he's in studio with us today.
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It's just I can't help.
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That's why you see the title show is Mr Fucking Despacito.
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His first on-camera appearance.
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Yeah, this is your first live.
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He's now revealed to the public right.
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This is my first live Did.
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I win yet.
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I can't dude.
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I don't know if, as a friend of yours for many years, I don't know if I'd rather hang out with you with your regular voice or Mr Despacito.
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I'll just have a split person.
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We'll do a little of both.
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Yes, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Take it Deep Show episode.
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Who the Fuck Knows right now?
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It's not 100.
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Ninety eight, Seven eight.
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I would say six again.
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It gives us four more before we get to 100.
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I bet you guys are freaking out looking up at that TV screen.
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I see a nice clear picture.
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I'm waiting to see Max.
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Hedrum.
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I see the colors of the rainbow.
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We got to talk to finance, see if we can get a new TV out of this.
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So we recently Our money man.
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We got to talk to a finance, so we we recently our our money man.
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So we have Maddie the money man no, unnamed investor.
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And what Well, just say unnamed investor.
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You know, or the money man.
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Can we just call him the money man?
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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So we have the money man.
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Man, we have the action man.
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Who's the idea man?
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it's gotta be all yes, of course he is an idea man.
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I have good ideas sometimes yeah, no, it's it follow-through is questionable yeah, it depends.
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So before we even get on your case, I do have to apologize.
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No, really For what?
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So we were listening to many of shows the past couple of days.
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Recent shows In the past.
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And we.
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We listened to like 50 to 60, 60 to 70, 89 to 90.
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Well, no real like run, just like random numbers.
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Yeah, like we were just listening to random shows.
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57 could have been 64.
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Yeah, been 72, like there was just like random shows 100 of them.
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We absolutely abuse kevin, I mean it's like full-on attack, really, it's not an attack.
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It's good for the show, though pretty it's like full on attack.
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It's not an attack.
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It's good for the show, though it's pretty close Bitch.
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Shut up, bitch.
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Thank you, buddy.
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So I mean right now from the apology.
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We have a fresh slate so we can continue, but we do apologize for past behavior, treating you like the pussy cunt.
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That you are Okay and I called you a pussy cunt.
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Yeah, yeah.
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I'm not sure if that one made Webster yet, but it's apparently.
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It's a new word.
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No, not at all.
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It's one of the new words, I believe.
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It's not at all.
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I mean, come on, do you like, are you?
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You can't get upset over it.
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Nope, I don't.
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Oh see, you guys can't see this.
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It says here's Ben Travers obs for president.
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Yeah, I think I do better than this guy.
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I don't know, I think you would too.
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I don't know if I think you would too.
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I don't know if our president can be so thin skinned.
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Will you let my people in?
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Yeah, we can talk about that Wait first off, ladies and gentlemen, if you do not know, All right, the gentleman sitting to my right is a legend of the show.
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How long did it take you to get from a boy Pioneer?
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Yeah, he's a pioneer.
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Pioneer.
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Definitely.
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I don't know if you guys remember it was episode 20-something Hot Dog and a Soda with Big Billy.
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Oh, hot Dog and a.
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Soda.
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One of the best all-time episodes.
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I fucking miss this voice so much and I can't I miss this voice so much and I can't I miss this show.
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Guys, Look what I bring.
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Oh, he's got the fucking Look at this.
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I got my shirt on.
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Did that get you straight through the border?
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No problem.
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Si.
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How'd you get the gear down there?
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You don't want to know.
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Ladies and gentlemen, let me welcome Mr Despacito.
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I'm back.
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Do you know Elvis Crespo?
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Hey Pat, why don't you read Ben's next post?
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Right, like come on.
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Jesus Christ, ben.
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We might have to delete that.
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It says obs for president Right.
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And the next comment is Well.
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I mean, there's context missing there.
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He's just a Nazi, chill out.
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Damn.
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All right Political Pete's back for that one.
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He's just a Nazi.
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Chill out, damn Political Pete's back for that one.
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I even get it from the crowd, Pete, Like I don't know what it is.
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Maybe, like I just got that, look like the guy that walks into the room and you just want to punch in the face.
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I don't know, Maybe it's me.
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Oh, is it a donkey punch?
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You do know about the donkey punch, it's down in mexico right, I just wanted to make sure by the dirty sanchez this is not gonna go well at all we're not even getting to the grease board today.
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No, we're going to get to the grease board, don't worry about it.
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So we have Mr Despacito with us.
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Thank you for the warm felt apology.
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That was great.
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No, hey, despacito, we want to thank our money man for our new microphones and new board.
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That made all our other equipment obsolete.
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If anyone wants to start a podcast.
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We've got some equipment for sale.
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You can't mix and match.
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Yeah, so you'll see on the marketplace.
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If you guys see five or four microphones and I mean you might as well just start moving a boulder around.
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Jesus, this fucking kid's like stuck in a ball pit.
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I can't fucking do anything right.
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It's like being married twice.
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I didn't know.
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Mateo was the money man.
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Shut up, bitch.
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Can I get a hot dog and a soda after the show?
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You know what hurts the most is is the joy in your face when you press that button.
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There's just a certain wrinkle in the eye.
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It just can't be got by normal means.
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I'm not even going to lie about it Drugs can't even get that.
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No, it's like a natural fucking happiness.
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That just disturbs me.
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Get out of my house, let me.
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Take my he's sweating already.
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No, it's just like muffling the sound and it just sounded like I was going deaf.
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Um, what I?
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I don't.
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I maybe I do get a gleam in the eye, but you do when I look at it.
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I'm just looking at it, I'm just like he does.
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I'm gonna keep talking so I can press the button.
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Keep talking.
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Three, two.
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I'm going to keep talking, so I can press the button Keep talking.
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Three, two, one Shut up, bitch oh my God, we've got to get into some.
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That's cool, it's fine.
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Yeah, it's no problem, we'll get into some serious stuff.
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Well, wait a second Before we get into serious stuff.
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I understood that there was a story.
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Oh yeah, oh, here we go.
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A story.
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Oh yeah, oh, here we go.
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So we were pre-showing talking with Pete over here, Mr Despacito.
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Oh, we're going to talk about Pete's balls.
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Oh boy, Can you tell us what's going on with your sack?
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Oh God, all right.
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Are we going to have like a car wash for you?
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Like is this a bad story.
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T-I-E car wash.
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What's the end game here?
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Yeah, he's definitely not losing the balls.
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I was telling Pat.
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I went to the urologist and I have to have a surgery on my balls.
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Does it have a name Like the surgery?
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I can't think of it.
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You have to find the other one.
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Dude, if you're having surgery on your balls, you at least know its name.
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Too long of a name, something.
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I go there to tell the guy that I'm pissing all the time and my balls hurt.
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So he says to me I've been having this problem since I was in my 20s.
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So he says to me since you've been having this problem since I was in my 20s.
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So he says to me since you've been having this problem since you're in your 20s, you didn't have much of a prostate in your 20s.
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So I think it's just the cold weather is irritating your bladder.
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I don't mean to cut you off.
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How old are you now?
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46.
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Okay, so 20 something years.
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Yeah, and he tells me it's the cold weather is making me pee a lot.
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So you thought you were in your 20s.
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No, I told him.
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I've been having the issue since I was in my 20s.
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Oh, so did you go to the gas station and get a cold, and now you decide to go to the doctor?
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Well, it got worse out of nowhere Did you go to the gas station and get some hand warmers.
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Like, what does that?
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Mean Like what does out of nowhere look like.
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I don't know what out of nowhere is.
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For 20 years Can we get an out of nowhere story?
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Yeah, meaning I'm waking up three times a night to take a piss.
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Okay, okay.
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And you're not drinking.
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And I'm not drinking.
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Are you diabetic?
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And to make a long story short, actually 10 years ago I had another urologist tell me.
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She said stop drinking caffeine and only ejaculate once a week.
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Why?
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Who is this doctor?
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I want to talk to her.
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When.
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I first met her.
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You know, the first thing she told me was they had to tell you to only ejaculate once a week.
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Like what kind of form did you fill out?
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I said she says to me listen, the first thing she says to me is don't worry, I have the smallest hands in the face.
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Wait, can you?
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Okay, so you have your problem with your current doctor right now.
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Can you explain what happened when you had that interaction with him?
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What happened?
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afterwards, you're leaving parts of the story out with the nurse.
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Oh yeah, so I'm going, I go into the nurse and she's doing the ultrasound.
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So she's got your cock in her hand.
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Yeah, she's got this cold gel in my balls.
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She got it all.
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And she asked me what do I think of the doctor?
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What'd she do with her?